My birth stories
I wish I’d had someone to empower me and give me the confidence to understand and trust in my own body and the process of birth, to teach me how to advocate for myself and my rights, and to then care for and nurture me in the sometimes overwhelming first few months of having a newborn.
I have two wonderful daughters of my own, and my experiences of birthing, feeding, and learning how I wanted to mother them, have really fuelled my interest in the world of birth and parenting.
My pregnancy in 2008 was wonderful, enjoyable, and complication-free. However, my experience of the birth itself was very negative. I was young and underprepared, having had no antenatal education other than a 2-hour NHS workshop at 38 weeks. When labour started, I was scared, and the staff at the hospital I had chosen to give birth in were unhelpful and dismissive. As soon as I entered the labour ward I felt completely out of control and bullied, and as a result ended up having unwanted interventions and a very medical experience that I now know should have been unnecessary. All in all, a very dehumanising and overwhelming experience. This, as well as other factors, meant that I didn’t heal well postnatally - physically or emotionally.
I then unfortunately went on to suffer a miscarriage a few years later, and again experienced a lack of support where it was needed. I feel great empathy for anyone else who has suffered any kind of loss.
My pregnancy in 2013 was less enjoyable than the first. I struggled physically and I wonder now whether my body was holding on to negative memories from before. However, I was determined to have a positive birth experience this time round! I did lots of research, hired a one-to-one antenatal teacher and learnt how I could influence this next birth. She taught my husband to be a great birth partner, and I stayed at home as long as possible before going to the hospital where I had a beautiful, quiet, hands-off water birth, where I felt like a warrior woman! Sadly, this extremely healing and empowering experience was negated by the way I was treated immediately afterwards. Again, treated like a body, not an individual, one painful, traumatic experience with one particular midwife almost meant I couldn’t look back on the birth with joy.
Postnatally I struggled again. This pregnancy had prompted the start of some health issues for me as well as temporarily debilitating back problems. My baby was also poorly for the first year, which alongside having a busy 5-year-old, a dog, and a husband who worked away during the week meant that I remember this as being one of the toughest times of my life.
How I could have done with a doula! Someone to empower me and give me the confidence to understand and trust in my own body and the process of birth, to teach me how to advocate for myself and my rights, and to then care for and nurture me in the sometimes overwhelming first few months of having a newborn.
My wish, is to be this person for you.
